I am often asked why my Spandex® bicycle riding costume features eight hundred and thirty corporate sponsorship logos even though I do not actually have a sponsor. The reason for this is simple. For every thirty male bicycle riders there is one female bicycle rider and, as in nature where the most adorned peacock gets the peahen, the male bicycle rider with the most brightly coloured Spandex® and most corporate sponsorship logos gets to mate with her.

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